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“Hope You Are Well.”
(And Flush!)

A headshaking selection of “concerned” e-mails we’ve received

“Kanye West Put the Kardashian Sisters to Open the Dictionary!”

Recent headlines and quotations from international glossies, courtesy of Google Translate

Melania Diaries,
Part III

The Canadian

Scenes from what should be Martin Scorsese’s next film

Films for Discerning Audiences

The best movies never get made. Time to put a stop to that

Achtweet!

Useful German words for these difficult modern times

Canadian Kama Sutra

Happy New Year! Your long-awaited guide to romance north of the border is here

The Bob Project

My 25-year quest to sneak Dylan references into absolutely everything

EPISODE VI: “Weekender Loonies and Sicko 212s!”

A final missive from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

EPISODE V: “Nothing Ever Changes in Palm Beach”

A little more correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, and Harper’s Bazaar

No, Virginia, There Isn’t a Santa Claus!

Revisiting a Spy piece that proved, once and for all, scientifically, what no child wanted to hear

Master and Commander

The U.S.S. Lincoln projects American sea power on a small speck off the coast of Newfoundland

Donald Trump’s Completely Unverified London Diary*

The “stable genius” becomes a laughingstock

EPISODE IV: “The Clue Lay in the Outsider Art!”

Still more correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

Melania Diaries,
Part II

An exclusive excerpt from Melania Trump’s (completely unverified) private journal

EPISODE III: “Is It the Ganja Talking?”

More correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Mademoiselle, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

The Nature Hater’s Guide to Safari

Rickety old airplanes, disease-carrying flies, manic wildlife—how will a city slicker survive in Africa’s toniest camps?

EPISODE II: “Dial ‘Facebook Messages’ for Murder”

More correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Mademoiselle, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

EPISODE I: “Slattern-on-the-Hudson”

Recent correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Mademoiselle, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

Prescription Dubs

Can you tell your pharmaceuticals from your pop stars? Really? A quiz

Inside Prison 1600

An exclusive excerpt from Melania Trump’s (completely unverified) private diary

How to Write a Business Memoir

The world would be a better place imparted with your vital insights and uncanny corporate acumen. Wouldn’t it?

Deer Dear Prec President
Erto
Erdogon …

Downton Abbey: The Five-Minute Version

Condensed, with perhaps one or two liberties taken. Still, the reading time is 118 minutes less than the film’s running time