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How to Sneak into Mar-a-Lago

Six ways to get into Trump’s hideous Florida compound, from a guy who’s tested them all. Why? For the fun of it …

What If … Your Dentist Was Marjorie Taylor Greene?

Comic-Book Villain … or Severe-Acne Drug?

Do you know the difference?

What if Rudy and Don Jr. appeared in the musical Chicago?

What If … Peter Morgan’s Sequel to The Crown Were The Trump?

Trump in Exile

Where on earth can a defeated, disgraced president go when his White House stint is finished?

Locked Out. But Perhaps LinkedIn

Imagining how Ivanka, Eric, and Stephen Miller market themselves, post–White House

Prince Andrew’s Vanity on Full Display

He’s got a new Range Rover and a personalized license plate. (No, it’s not WANKR)

If Trump Had Been Our World War II President

Down the rabbit hole of a retro-history nightmare

The Idiot Box Meets Its Match

Trump has threatened to start a TV network if he loses the election. So what would that look like?

Sex and the Ambitious Girl

Imagining what goes on in the mind of rich-husband collector Barbara Amiel

The Idiot Box

Keeping Up with the Sussexes—a first look at Meghan and Harry’s Netflix reality-show script

Anarchists in the Kitchen?

What if The Great British Bake Off were an Antifa sleeper cell?

Lindsey Graham Serves a Stiff One

What if he loses his Senate seat and opens a slightly dowdy gay bar called Feathers?


What if Trump’s pardoned miscreants all had to teach grade school?

2020 Alibi

A coronavirus whodunit

Her Royal Deepness

Can you tell the real Meghan Markle–isms from the fake? Test your Sussex Squad cred with this quiz!

What if … Cher Were Postmaster General?

She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?

No-Brain Teaser

A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”

The (Kanye) West Wing

Imagining his first 100 days

Tracking an Apocalypse

How The New York Times will cover the zombie invasion

Hiding the Truth About Antifa from Your Uncle

He has nothing to fear but fear of a mostly over-exaggerated leftist militant concept itself

The White House Bunker Diaries

Reports on a week of protests, straight from the unmasked source*

Dog Days Come Early

Those interminable summer days have arrived well in advance of the season itself: 24 hours in the life of, well, everyone