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Nude descending a staircase.
“Hello, H.R.? I’d like to file a complaint. I just learned I’m being paid 30 percent more than a female colleague doing exactly the same job.”
“You’re in luck—it’s bobblehead day.”
“On this very sad occasion—and on all occasions—I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard.”
“It’s a message from the killer. It says: ‘Dear Police, I’ve hidden the clues in my newsletter, which you would know if you actually read it.’”
“I know, I know … But I thought he would bring down the price of eggs.”
“I know old homes come with their own risks, but I just love the sense of history.”
“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”
“I’m your partner, not your ‘work husband.’ Especially around perps.”
“You don’t know what it’s like in the private sector.”
“Thanks for dropping by, but next time you can just text.”
“My husband works from home.”
“Even on vacation, thanks to drones, I can still do a little part-time bombing.”
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me. For verily, I have the biggest crowds.”
“This is the best part—the hero is still hopeful for something good, before he realizes it’s all bills.”
