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“The next song tells of the pain of romance. The disappointments, the disagreements, the bickering. This is too difficult for me. I’m not going to sing it.”
“Now be a snake. No, wait—a talking snake!”
“I’ve learned to live with the ever present specter of death, but mostly because it’s started chipping in for rent.”
“The white carpet in here was a mistake.”
“If they pay the ransom promptly, I’m throwing in a free tote bag.”
“In 2,000 years, you’ll be reincarnated as a sales associate who says things like ‘Friyay’ and ‘wine o’clock.’”
“Use the Force to concentrate, Luke. The Force and noise-canceling headphones.”
“Once we’re in, Frank will get the TV remote, Eddie will grab the phone charger, and Ace—you’ll be on Tupperware lids.”
“The beheading only made him meaner.”
“It’s been a stressful school year.”
“So the buttons, beads, rings, nuts, keys, bolts, and baubles go in the offshore account, and we’ll report the nail.”
“We need to replace our mission statement with an excuse.”
“I thought we’d decided on the gold-leaf pattern.”
“I haven’t finished saying no yet.”
“Good evening, and welcome to the Situation Room.”