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Small Talk
“Our plan was always to get divorced once all our children were out of the house and we’re still waiting, son.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Now do a silly one.”
Small Talk
“She’s truly the fairest in all the land, but l’m disturbed by her use of animal labor.”
Small Talk
“It’s getting so you can’t insult anybody without them getting all insulted.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Whatta ya say we skip the awkward conversation and get straight to the awkward sex?”
Small Talk
“It’s a renewable-energy drink.”
Small Talk
“What if I told you that you can live in the heart of the city at an affordable price?”
Small Talk
“Awww, his first time disabling parental controls.”
Small Talk
“Well, that’s enough TV for tonight if we want to get in our hour of doomscrolling before bed.”
Small Talk
“You can keep your shoes on, but those socks have to go.”
Small Talk
“There goes our security deposit.”
Small Talk
“Try to make friends—but don’t make friends with kids whose parents want to be my friend.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“This is a real game changer.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I thought I’d outlive my enemies, but I keep making new ones.”
Small Talk
“Sorry—no unboxing videos.”
Small Talk
“Reckon we’ll ever be ravaged by the ills of gentrification?”
Small Talk
“I’m telling you, man—it was all staged. A cow never really jumped over the moon.”
Small Talk
“My parents make me run this Fortune 500 company so that it looks good for college.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Let the record show, that’s what she said.”