“Do you want African white-backed vultures? Because this is how you’re gonna get African white-backed vultures.”
Small Talk
“The sea is my home. Her raging swells are my walls, her foamy depths my bed. I bide in the fathomless mystery of her inky bosom. Because Brooklyn is just crazy right now.”
Small Talk
“Listen, son—the mournful call of the untenured academic!”
Small Talk
“Remember my frog-slash-boyfriend? Well, now he’s my prince-slash-fiancé!”
Small Talk
“Jerry, you can’t keep coming back from the dead every time I have coffee with someone.”
Small Talk
“This locksmith bill is outrageous. People, please—when you lock ’em up, don’t throw away the key.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Our manifesto must offer a measured but devastating critique of flying.”
Small Talk
Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.
Small Talk
“M’lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn.”
Small Talk
“You know, you’re right—a lot of this would be solved by eating his whole head.”
Small Talk
Frostus Augustus
Small Talk
“He was a sea rescue.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Because vulnerable to kryptonite sounds cooler than lactose intolerant.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“One semester in Paris and she’s come back completely insufferable.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?”
Small Talk
Super Bowl halftime show. Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Look, I can’t talk, dude—Megan is leaving me and—what? I can still draft Aaron Judge? What about Ohtani? Check. I’ll hold.”
Small Talk
Track & Field & Stream magazine.
Small Talk
“As part of our effort to raise our on-time performance, your flight left half an hour early.”
