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“An excessive salary is nice, but it’s hard to beat exorbitant bonuses.”
“It’s refreshing to meet a despot with a sense of ergonomics.”
“I hope it’s socks and underwear.”
“I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels.”
“Hi, honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We’re almost out of poetry.”
“It’s hard not to take a mutiny personally.”
“This may pinch a little.”
“Here’s a little something I wrote just for me.”
“I was there the entire time he painted this. Looked him right in the eye for hours. How could he not include me?”
“I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I’m not ponying up for an after-party too.”
Nude descending a staircase.
“Hello, H.R.? I’d like to file a complaint. I just learned I’m being paid 30 percent more than a female colleague doing exactly the same job.”
“You’re in luck—it’s bobblehead day.”
“On this very sad occasion—and on all occasions—I’d like to remind everyone that I graduated from Harvard.”