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Scott Rudin’s Employee Handbook Welcome to the team! Here are a few things to know …

Advice-by-Numbers Professor and clinical psychologist Jordan B. Peterson shares his red-hot rules for life

Locked Out. But Perhaps LinkedIn Imagining how Ivanka, Eric, and Stephen Miller market themselves, post–White House

Prince Andrew’s Vanity on Full Display He’s got a new Range Rover and a personalized license plate. (No, it’s not WANKR)

The Idiot Box Meets Its Match Trump has threatened to start a TV network if he loses the election. So what would that look like?

Anarchists in the Kitchen? What if The Great British Bake Off were an Antifa sleeper cell?

The Idiot Box Keeping Up with the Sussexes—a first look at Meghan and Harry’s Netflix reality-show script

Sex and the Ambitious Girl Imagining what goes on in the mind of rich-husband collector Barbara Amiel

Lindsey Graham Serves a Stiff One What if he loses his Senate seat and opens a slightly dowdy gay bar called Feathers?

Flunkies What if Trump’s pardoned miscreants all had to teach grade school?

2020 Alibi A coronavirus whodunit

September 22, 2020

Her Royal Deepness Can you tell the real Meghan Markle–isms from the fake? Test your Sussex Squad cred with this quiz!

What if … Cher Were Postmaster General? She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?

No-Brain Teaser A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”

Tracking an Apocalypse How The New York Times will cover the zombie invasion