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Locked Out. But Perhaps LinkedIn Imagining how Ivanka, Eric, and Stephen Miller market themselves, post–White House

Prince Andrew’s Vanity on Full Display He’s got a new Range Rover and a personalized license plate. (No, it’s not WANKR)

The Idiot Box Meets Its Match Trump has threatened to start a TV network if he loses the election. So what would that look like?

Sex and the Ambitious Girl Imagining what goes on in the mind of rich-husband collector Barbara Amiel

Anarchists in the Kitchen? What if The Great British Bake Off were an Antifa sleeper cell?

The Idiot Box Keeping Up with the Sussexes—a first look at Meghan and Harry’s Netflix reality-show script

Lindsey Graham Serves a Stiff One What if he loses his Senate seat and opens a slightly dowdy gay bar called Feathers?

Flunkies What if Trump’s pardoned miscreants all had to teach grade school?

2020 Alibi A coronavirus whodunit

September 22, 2020

Her Royal Deepness Can you tell the real Meghan Markle–isms from the fake? Test your Sussex Squad cred with this quiz!

What if … Cher Were Postmaster General? She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?

No-Brain Teaser A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”

Tracking an Apocalypse How The New York Times will cover the zombie invasion

Hiding the Truth About Antifa from Your Uncle He has nothing to fear but fear of a mostly over-exaggerated leftist militant concept itself

The White House Bunker Diaries Reports on a week of protests, straight from the unmasked source*

June 8, 2020

Dog Days Come Early Those interminable summer days have arrived well in advance of the season itself: 24 hours in the life of, well, everyone

June 1, 2020

The Titanic Daily Task-Force Briefing “Look, this is just, like, a really big ice cube, O.K.?”

Interview with a Virus In which he thanks his main man, the super-spreader in chief, Donnie Darkness

In Search of Lost Food Keeping track of the days may be a thing of the past, but when it comes to mapping out our next meal, it’s always go time

May 11, 2020

Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth Not a day went by without Trump showing up late to his own coronavirus press briefings. A firsthand account explains what he was up to while the world waited …

May 5, 2020
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