Flunkies What if Trump’s pardoned miscreants all had to teach grade school?
Her Royal Deepness Can you tell the real Meghan Markle–isms from the fake? Test your Sussex Squad cred with this quiz!
What if … Cher Were Postmaster General? She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?
No-Brain Teaser A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”
Hiding the Truth About Antifa from Your Uncle He has nothing to fear but fear of a mostly over-exaggerated leftist militant concept itself
The White House Bunker Diaries Reports on a week of protests, straight from the unmasked source*
June 8, 2020
Dog Days Come Early Those interminable summer days have arrived well in advance of the season itself: 24 hours in the life of, well, everyone
June 1, 2020
The Titanic Daily Task-Force Briefing “Look, this is just, like, a really big ice cube, O.K.?”
Interview with a Virus In which he thanks his main man, the super-spreader in chief, Donnie Darkness
In Search of Lost Food Keeping track of the days may be a thing of the past, but when it comes to mapping out our next meal, it’s always go time
May 11, 2020
Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth Not a day went by without Trump showing up late to his own coronavirus press briefings. A firsthand account explains what he was up to while the world waited …
May 5, 2020
Spring-Cleaning “They’re saying you can’t put it into humans. Not even into Jared. But have they even tried?”: A week in the life of Lysol’s favorite spokesman*
April 27, 2020
A Bug’s Life The author of Contagion delivers an open letter from a tiny invader who goes by the name Coronavirus
Going Green No, not that kind of green! A week in the life of an envious (and totally inadequate) social distancer*
April 13, 2020
Wellness Formula The relaxation guru behind the cool-as-cucumbers personalities of Rudy Giuliani and Gordon Ramsay reveals her secrets for keeping loose and carrying on
April 9, 2020
Donald Trump’s Completely Unverified Coronavirus Diary* Melania makes a run for an epicenter of the coronavirus, Boris reports in from his sickbed, and the president struggles to distinguish between “She” and “Xi”: a week in the life
April 6, 2020
