“Unless Trump wins and we get rid of the mountain of smothering regulations (that have nothing to do with safety!), humanity will never reach Mars. This is existential.”
—Elon Musk post on X, October 4
“The Environmental Protection Agency and the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality have determined that SpaceX has violated the Clean Water Act. Both agencies levied fines totaling more than $150,000 against the company in September.”
—NPR, October 11
POLLS SHOW TRUMP LEADING HARRIS AMONG VOTERS WHO IDENTIFY AS EXISTENTIALIST AT TRUMP RALLY, MUSK DOES CARTWHEELS, SAYS “BETTER TO LIVE ON A RED PLANET THAN A DEAD PLANET”
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MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE DENOUNCES E.P.A. AND “JEWISH-DOMINATED” TEXAS COMMISSION ON ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY AS “ANTI-MARTIANIST”
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TRUMP: “IF WE LET KARMELA STEAL THIS ELECTION, WE’RE NEVER GONNA GET TO MARS, FOLKS”
TRUMP: “COLUMBUS WOULD STILL BE AT THE DOCK FILLING OUT GOVERNMENT FORMS IF BIDEN AND HARRIS RULED PORTUGAL IN 1482”
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AT TRUMP RALLY, MUSK DOES ONE-ARM PUSH-UPS, SAYS MARS “IDEAL FOR MIGRANT DEPORTATION”
Trump hails idea as “genius.” Says he thought of it first.
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TEXANS LIVING NEAR SPACEX LAUNCH SITES ARE WARNED NOT TO DRINK TAP WATER OR EAT INCINERATED MIGRATORY BIRDS
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J. D. VANCE SAYS CONTAMINATION OF DRINKING WATER AND MIGRATORY-BIRD INCINERATIONS ARE “THE PRICE WE PAY FOR DARING TO DREAM BIG”
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WALKING BACK HIS “PRICE WE PAY” COMMENT, VANCE VOLUNTEERS TO DRINK A GLASS OF SPACEX LAUNCH-SITE WATER AND EAT AN INCINERATED BIRD
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TRUMP ALLEGES HARRIS “SECRET PLAN” TO THWART SPACEX PLAN FOR MARS COLONY
“You’d think she’d like Mars, wouldn’t you? It’s the Red Planet, right? Same color as her politics.”
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POLL: TRUMP ATTACKS ON HARRIS “SECRET PLAN” CONTINUE TO RESONATE AMONG “LOW I.Q.” VOTERS
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ALEX JONES DENOUNCES “DEEP-STATE SCHEME” TO DIRECT HURRICANES AT SPACEX LAUNCH SITES IN ORDER TO PREVENT MIGRANT DEPORTATIONS
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AT TRUMP RALLY, MUSK DOES JUMPING JACKS, ANNOUNCES PLAN FOR “ADIOS AMIGOS X” SPACESHIP TO FACILITATE MIGRANT RELOCATION
Says to cheering crowd, “Don’t tell the E.P.A.!”
Christopher Buckley is the author of numerous books. His latest, Has Anyone Seen My Toes?, is out now
