It’s difficult to listen to Donald Trump speak without coming away thinking the “very stable genius” may be anything but. Wild accusations, fabricated claims, and outrageous lies regularly spew forth from his mouth with a meanness and intensity usually heard only in W.W.E. interviews. Many believe the pressure of all his criminal indictments and convictions has made the 78-year-old delusional. Others vehemently disagree, saying Trump’s been a psychopathic narcissist for years, and his batshit behavior is nothing new. Whichever side of this debate you come down on, there are more and more unconfirmed reports from inside the Trump camp suggesting the former president has lost a step or two.
- He seems to believe Melania when she says, “Donny, I love you. But I’m too tired tonight. Tomorrow, I promise.”
- The Secret Service has quietly begun hiding the keys to the Trump jet.
- Every morning at breakfast, it’s the same thing: “No, Dad, I’m your son Barron. Roy Cohn’s been dead for over 30 years.”
- When filling out his latest tax return, Trump put down the true market value for all of his properties.
- He’s wildly attracted to Laura Loomer—for her mind.
- Friends say he doesn’t seem to relish cheating at golf as much as he used to.
- After his debate with Kamala Harris, Trump was heard bragging, “Man, I really kicked Biden’s ass tonight!”
- Every time a car backfires, he drops to his knees and starts screaming, “Trump down! The illegal Haitian Central Park Five from Venezuela are trying to kill Trump!”
- He’s invested some of his own money in Trump Crypto.
- Rumors are swirling that his legal team is scrapping the presidential-immunity defense in favor of “diminished capacity.”
- He wants to declare January 6 “National Freak-Off Day.”
- He’s entrusting his knuckleheaded son Eric to run more and more of the Trump Organization.
- He passed up a golden opportunity to swap out weird J. D. Vance for the even weirder R.F.K. Jr. when he had the chance.
- Don Jr. has been secretly talking with architects about converting a wing of Mar-a-Lago into an assisted-living facility.
- All of Trump’s insulting nicknames for Kamala have been just meh.
John Ficarra is a former editor of Mad magazine
