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“You forgot your mask.”
“We steal gold from the rich and sell it to a metals broker. They make a profit on their buy-and-sell spread and share a portion of that with us. Then, after the skimming and the rebates, we give to the poor.”
“Geoffrey’s rewilding.”
“Remember: lift the strongbox by keeping your back straight, knees bent, and engaging your abs.”
“You’re right—organs do look more festive in these cute Mason jars.”
“Left the gun, but took an improv class.”
“O.K., don’t answer immediately. Just let the idea wash over you: The Real Housewives of Kepler-452b.”
“I’ve got a thousand C.E.O.’s telling me I’m crazy not to check out the competition.”
“There’s wicked, and then there’s just plain mean.”
“Well, no, I wouldn’t expect you to get it.”
Civil-discourse re-enactors.
“It’s a great manuscript, but our mandate has shifted from championing new writers to enslaving planet Earth.”
“Well, it was a tough decision, Doug, but we’ve decided to go with Doug.”
“This book says I should eat your arm first.”
“He’s an American shepherd.”
“Just a heads-up, if we ever become super-wealthy and you want to use the money to take a rocket into outer space instead of, like, feeding poor people, I’m going to be really mad.”
“It’s like I’ve been cyberbullying for so long that I forget how to do it in person.”
“I forget who, but he’s somebody’s kid.”