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“I know you’re trying to kill me, but this is actually quite fun!”
“I have no trouble falling asleep, and I have no trouble waking up. I just need to switch when they happen.”
“You forgot this.”
“Isn’t this nice?”
“I need to stop dating ex-cons.”
“You pull one thorn out of a lion’s paw and suddenly he won’t stop calling you.”
“If you’re that cold, put on another sweater vest.”
“I told you this would be better than a bird feeder. Heh. I’ll go brew some coffee.”
“Politics has divided everything.”
“I fly south for the winter, and north for the bagels!”
“I got Pfizer, I got Moderna, I got AstraZeneca.”
“No, the billboards are not based on our search history.”
“I’m sorry, honey. But sometimes life is going to treat you fairly.”
“You got this, gents! Sore today, strong tomorrow! Obstacles are opportunities!”