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“M’lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn.”
“You know, you’re right—a lot of this would be solved by eating his whole head.”
“Because vulnerable to kryptonite sounds cooler than lactose intolerant.”
“One semester in Paris and she’s come back completely insufferable.”
“So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?”
Super Bowl halftime show. Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.
“Look, I can’t talk, dude—Megan is leaving me and—what? I can still draft Aaron Judge? What about Ohtani? Check. I’ll hold.”
Track & Field & Stream magazine.
“As part of our effort to raise our on-time performance, your flight left half an hour early.”
“Your honor, I don’t think I need to remind you that we’re all guilty of something.”
“Good luck out there with the normies and un-bearded ladies!”
“First of all, it was a discussion, not an argument. Secondly, I won.”
“Oh God, here she comes again, insisting she’s helping.”
“It’s sad watching his desperate attempts to stay relevant.”
“I’m your one call from County Lockup? Ohhhh, Lenny.”
“It’s your turn to change him.”
