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“How is everything, besides the obvious?”
“Boys! Enough! Your father has a migraine!”
“Comic Sans? I wouldn’t rescue us.”
“He misses his terrified people.”
“It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.”
“Yes, it’s hot and humid in Atlanta, but my vote is worth 10,000 of yours.”
“My post got a trillion likes!”
“Julian is still adjusting to in-person, so he’ll call in to this meeting from the back of the room.”
“He’s a man of his word, and that word is ‘dude.’”
“Finish this sentence: ‘If Trump wins, I’m going to … ’”
“This is just a model, but you get the idea.”
“So, are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?”
“It’s an inter-dimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time … but we mostly use it for storage.”
“I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?”
“Let’s address the sexy elephant in the room and see if he wants to party.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself like this if they just gave us robes with pockets!”