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“Double-breasted is making a comeback.”
“Sometimes I question his priorities.”
“Hey, let’s mix it up a bit today and have you be the bad cop.”
“Oh, no, you read it right—the sign said ‘matinee,’ but also, it’s in manatee.”
“Look, there’s even more buttons and stuff up there.”
“Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty.”
“I don’t like losing control and murdering people, but I’ve grown quite partial to the hat.”
Five seconds before the first Turducken.
“You just keep him away from my kid, O.K.?”
“I can’t take another memoir.”
“I’ve been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?”
“I don’t think you’re genetically modifying these foods at all. I think you’re just putting googly eyes on fruit.”