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“Obviously our vow of poverty excludes real estate.”
“Private equity bought the dam and jacked up rents. Nests are next.”
“On the plus side, it’s nice to be doing something together.”
“Your ears seek wisdom, but your lips seek Himalayan lip balm.”
“I didn’t know this was a formal event.”
“I consider every member of our family to be like family.”
“Your choice: the whip, the rack, or small talk.”
“That sonuvabitch gave up watching the news.”
“Turns out the biggest mistake a hunter can make is sleeping with the wife of the town’s only taxidermist.”
“Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive.”
“That! That’s why I don’t like alfresco dining!”
“It started with cutting letters out of magazines for ransom notes; now he’s really into scrapbooking.”