Her Royal Deepness
Can you tell the real Meghan Markle–isms from the fake? Test your Sussex Squad cred with this quiz!
What if … Cher Were Postmaster General?
She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?
No-Brain Teaser
A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”
The (Kanye) West Wing
Imagining his first 100 days
Tracking an Apocalypse
How The New York Times will cover the zombie invasion
Hiding the Truth About Antifa from Your Uncle
He has nothing to fear but fear of a mostly over-exaggerated leftist militant concept itself
The White House Bunker Diaries
Reports on a week of protests, straight from the unmasked source*
Dog Days Come Early
Those interminable summer days have arrived well in advance of the season itself: 24 hours in the life of, well, everyone
The Titanic Daily Task-Force Briefing
“Look, this is just, like, a really big ice cube, O.K.?”
Interview with a Virus
In which he thanks his main man, the super-spreader in chief, Donnie Darkness
In Search of Lost Food
Keeping track of the days may be a thing of the past, but when it comes to mapping out our next meal, it’s always go time
Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth
Not a day went by without Trump showing up late to his own coronavirus press briefings. A firsthand account explains what he was up to while the world waited …
Spring-Cleaning
“They’re saying you can’t put it into humans. Not even into Jared. But have they even tried?”: A week in the life of Lysol’s favorite spokesman*
Going Viral
Trump aide Kellyanne Conway explains the COVIDs
A Bug’s Life
The author of Contagion delivers an open letter from a tiny invader who goes by the name Coronavirus
Going Green
No, not that kind of green! A week in the life of an envious (and totally inadequate) social distancer*
Wellness Formula
The relaxation guru behind the cool-as-cucumbers personalities of Rudy Giuliani and Gordon Ramsay reveals her secrets for keeping loose and carrying on
Donald Trump’s Completely Unverified Coronavirus Diary*
Melania makes a run for an epicenter of the coronavirus, Boris reports in from his sickbed, and the president struggles to distinguish between “She” and “Xi”: a week in the life
“Hope You Are Well.”
(And Flush!)
A headshaking selection of “concerned” e-mails we’ve received