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A Bug’s Life

The author of Contagion delivers an open letter from a tiny invader who goes by the name Coronavirus

Going Green

No, not that kind of green! A week in the life of an envious (and totally inadequate) social distancer*

Wellness Formula

The relaxation guru behind the cool-as-cucumbers personalities of Rudy Giuliani and Gordon Ramsay reveals her secrets for keeping loose and carrying on

Donald Trump’s Completely Unverified Coronavirus Diary*

Melania makes a run for an epicenter of the coronavirus, Boris reports in from his sickbed, and the president struggles to distinguish between “She” and “Xi”: a week in the life

The New Commute

“Hope You Are Well.”
(And Flush!)

A headshaking selection of “concerned” e-mails we’ve received

“Kanye West Put the Kardashian Sisters to Open the Dictionary!”

Recent headlines and quotations from international glossies, courtesy of Google Translate

Melania Diaries,
Part III

The Canadian

Scenes from what should be Martin Scorsese’s next film

Films for Discerning Audiences

The best movies never get made. Time to put a stop to that

Achtweet!

Useful German words for these difficult modern times

EPISODE VI: “Weekender Loonies and Sicko 212s!”

A final missive from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

Canadian Kama Sutra

Happy New Year! Your long-awaited guide to romance north of the border is here

The Bob Project

My 25-year quest to sneak Dylan references into absolutely everything

EPISODE V: “Nothing Ever Changes in Palm Beach”

A little more correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, and Harper’s Bazaar

No, Virginia, There Isn’t a Santa Claus!

Revisiting a Spy piece that proved, once and for all, scientifically, what no child wanted to hear

Master and Commander

The U.S.S. Lincoln projects American sea power on a small speck off the coast of Newfoundland

Donald Trump’s Completely Unverified London Diary*

The “stable genius” becomes a laughingstock

EPISODE IV: “The Clue Lay in the Outsider Art!”

Still more correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

Melania Diaries,
Part II

An exclusive excerpt from Melania Trump’s (completely unverified) private journal

EPISODE III: “Is It the Ganja Talking?”

More correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Mademoiselle, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

The Nature Hater’s Guide to Safari

Rickety old airplanes, disease-carrying flies, manic wildlife—how will a city slicker survive in Africa’s toniest camps?

EPISODE II: “Dial ‘Facebook Messages’ for Murder”

More correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Mademoiselle, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar

EPISODE I: “Slattern-on-the-Hudson”

Recent correspondence from Lansy Everett, formerly of the New York Herald Tribune, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Mademoiselle, Vogue, Worth, and Harper’s Bazaar