Glossed in translation? You decide.

“Do not push grandpa in the nettles … Prince Philip gets out of hinges because of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.” (Voici, France)

“Mark Wahlberg, a 48-year-old actor, has a beautiful body. It’s enviable from a glance, but it’s worth noting that his swimsuit looks very healthy.” (Safari Online, Japan)

“Donald Trump in India: laugh at the state visit.” (Der Spiegel, Germany)

“[Oscar 2020] Complete list of winners. After Wakun Fenix and Renee Zellweger became emperors, the biggest winner, Parasitic High, won 4 awards.” (Vogue Taiwan)

“Celebrity frigid style from the Snow Mountain Sundance Film Festival.” (Vogue Japan)

“Kanye West put the Kardashian sisters to open the dictionary! Kim Kardashian explains why Kanye West asked her and her sisters to open the dictionary!” (Hello!, Greece)

Tried to Help a Duck

“Shakira, J.Lo Supercup midfielder show the explosive performance, buttocks and daughter … ” (Vogue Taiwan)

“You have to see Salma Hayek try to help a duck that went in his house.” (Hola!, Spain)

“Cersharonan’s ‘Them’ [Little Women] has excellent acting skills, and Ryan Reynolds said, ‘The movie is so good that I am going to the emergency department!’” (Vogue Taiwan)

So why did Kanye “put” Kim “to open the dictionary”?

“Why are there more and more cats around me?… When everyone is busy declining consumption, cats, with their own strength, have promoted the rapid development of the entire ‘cat economy.’” (Vogue China)

“Always placed in quarantine off Yokohama, in Japan, the Diamond Princess does not manage to avoid the contamination of its passengers.” (Paris Match, France)

“Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston meet at the Sag Awards in Los Angeles and … the spark between the two ex-children rekindles, between enchanted looks and hands that seek each other.” (Oggi, Italy)

“Why are there more and more cats around me?”

“[I want to eat meat] Young William and Prince Harry are really handsome!” (Cosmopolitan, Taiwan)

“A brave butler, ‘Ryan Reynolds,’ shares his wife’s unknowable birthday wishes.” (Hello!, Thailand)

–“Popular among celebrities anyway! If you wear a jacket this season, brick color!… Black, brown, and navy are standard, but ‘brick colors’ are rapidly gaining popularity among celebrities. It is more reddish than beige or tea and calm, but somewhere sexy.”

–“Casualty and freshness!”

–“MA-1 style with seasonal feeling!”

–“Taste of adult with brick color!”

–“Actor James Franco dresses up.... The boa collar jacket can upgrade the casual casual of American casuals, which tend to give a sober and bold impression. The mokomoko bore creates a rich atmosphere, and in fact, it also adds a kindness to your dress.”

–“It has the effect of fascinating dark colors softly!”

–“Produce a refreshing sense of bore collar!”

–“It is gorgeous at a stretch with the conspicuous bore … !”

(Safari Online, Japan)

“The boa collar jacket can upgrade the casual casual of American casuals.”

“Quiz: Are You a Girlfriend? Try this quiz and see if you are a whore or not.” (Cosmopolitan, Malaysia)

“Contouring, the Beyoncé trick for legs of 10 instantly!” (Hola!, Spain)

“[Harry Styles] … the British singer gave himself up to the very perilous gymnastics of the interview. Between the usual questions about his career and his sources of inspiration, it is obviously his love life and the many rumors about his sexuality that intrigue the most.” (Voici, France)

“For Christmas, Nick Jonas is out of the question for minimalism. So to fill the heart of his wife, Priyanka Chopra, the singer put the little dishes in the big ones.” (Voici, France)

“What’s the trick that doesn’t just float? How to incorporate a good pattern by Mad Bomer! Matt Bomer, who was hooked by the role of a genius scammer in the TV drama ‘White Collar,’ may have a strong impression that she is squeezing in a suit. However, when he looked at his plain clothes, he showed off a pretty junior with a simple yet playful outfit. And what’s so cool is how to use ‘patterned goods’!” (Safari Online, Japan)

“Celine Dion sexy in a funny pose in front of her tree.” (Voici, France)

“Celine Dion at its worst.” (Voici, France)

Henry Alford is the author, most recently, of And Then We Danced