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Henry Alford

21 results

His Name Is “Dr. Zee”

Mark Zuckerberg: from entitled nerd in flip-flops to … Bond villain?

How to Not Commit Suicide in Russia

Even if you’re one of Vladimir Putin’s allies, you stand a good chance of catching a fatal case of the glums

Tucker Carlson, Hollywood Sensitivity Coach?

What if the Fox News host switched jobs?

And Five, Six, Seven, Eight!

Lovers of Sondheim bolted to this gritty piano bar in Greenwich Village to grieve—and sing!

The Met Ball Hall of … Fame?

If you thought this year’s event looked like a cross between Halloween and the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, you aren’t alone. They don’t call it the “Costume” Institute for nothing

What If …

WeWork’s flamed-out founder, Adam Neumann, were made head of the World Bank?

What if … Ben and Jennifer Recoupled Annually?

What if … Gordon Ramsay Were Your Office Manager?

What if … the Queen Enters the Dating Scene?

Single and ready to mingle

What if … Ivanka and Meghan Ran Together in 2024?

What If … Your Dentist Was Marjorie Taylor Greene?

What if Rudy and Don Jr. appeared in the musical Chicago?

What If … Peter Morgan’s Sequel to The Crown Were The Trump?

Anarchists in the Kitchen?

What if The Great British Bake Off were an Antifa sleeper cell?

Lindsey Graham Serves a Stiff One

What if he loses his Senate seat and opens a slightly dowdy gay bar called Feathers?


What if Trump’s pardoned miscreants all had to teach grade school?

What if … Cher Were Postmaster General?

She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?

No-Brain Teaser

A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”

The (Kanye) West Wing

Imagining his first 100 days

“Kanye West Put the Kardashian Sisters to Open the Dictionary!”

Recent headlines and quotations from international glossies, courtesy of Google Translate

Second-Class Goopsters

Thanks to Goop for Men, now the average guy can feel just as bad about his physical self as women do