IS IT …
a strain of marijuana or a plot point in the Jason Bourne franchise?

  1. Mafia Funeral
  2. Cheetah Piss
  3. Tire Fire
  4. 9 Lb. Hammer
  5. Ray Charles
  6. Justin Bieber
  7. Tahoe Brunch
  8. Memory Loss

(Marijuana: 1–7. Both: 8.)

Is it …
a Secret Service code name or a brand of non-alcoholic rosé?

  1. Sunbonnet
  2. Buttercup
  3. Lotus Petal
  4. Misty Cliffs
  5. Pinafore
  6. Parasol
  7. Raindance
  8. Unicorn
  9. Oddbird
  10. Peter Sellers
  11. Kylie Minogue

(Secret Service code names: 1 [Julie Nixon Eisenhower], 2 [Janna Ryan], 3 [Rosalynn Carter], 5 [Betty Ford], 6 [Cindy McCain], 7 [Marian Shields Robinson], 8 [King Charles III], 10 [Meghan McCain]. Brands of non-alcoholic rosé: 4, 9, 11.)

Is it …
a kind of corn or a memoir about aging?

  1. Silver Queen
  2. Silver King
  3. Buttergold
  4. Sugar Buns
  5. Sparkle On
  6. In the Backyard
  7. Who Gets Kissed?
  8. Why Did I Come into This Room?

(Corn: 1–4, 7. Aging memoirs: 5, 6, 8.)

Is it …
a Sexual Fetish or a beach on Martha’s Vineyard?

  1. Katama
  2. Kemonā
  3. Gay Head
  4. Tentacles
  5. Lobsterville
  6. Sploshing
  7. Pantsing
  8. Vore
  9. Squibnocket

(Sexual fetishes: 2, 4, 6–8. Beaches: 1, 3, 5, 9.)

Is it …
a yacht owned by a Russian oligarch or a brand of cigarettes marketed to women?

  1. Nirvana
  2. Lady M
  3. Sobranie Cocktail
  4. Lena
  5. Eclipse
  6. Eve
  7. Pink Dreams

(Yachts owned by Russian oligarchs: 1 [Vladimir Potanin], 2 [Alexei Mordashov], 4 [Gennady Timchenko], 5 [Roman Abramovich]. Cigarettes marketed to women: 3, 6, 7.)

Is it …
a bacterial infection or a character from the Game of Thrones universe?

  1. Cleftjaw
  2. Lockjaw
  3. Littlefinger
  4. Smalljon
  5. Pink eye
  6. Steelshanks
  7. Greenhand
  8. Polliver
  9. Giantsbane
  10. Blood Wyrm
  11. Pinworm
  12. Mysaria
  13. Malaria
  14. Roseola
  15. Legionella
  16. Jaqen’s Disguise
  17. Dying Man
  18. Unsullied Captain

(Infections: 2, 5, 11, 13–15. Characters: 1, 3, 4, 6–10, 12, 16–18.)

Is it …
a boy band or a brand of anti-embolism stockings?

  1. 2gether
  2. Reel Tight
  3. PrettyMuch
  4. 5 Seconds of Summer
  5. CharmKing
  6. WITHYOU
  7. Hi Clasmix

(Boy bands: 1–4. Anti-embolism stockings: 5–7.)

Is it …
something Marco Rubio hates or something Navy Seals use as a flotation device?

  1. Disco
  2. The Bee Gees
  3. Bell-bottoms

(Things Marco Rubio hates: 1–2. Both: 3.)

Henry Alford is a New York–based writer and the author of And Then We Danced

Photos: UPI/Bettmann Archive/Getty Images; Paul Tranh (Alford)