It’s almost Oscar time—yawn. Even though a couple of art-house gems have muscled their way in, we believe the best and edgiest films are still waiting to be made.
Urgently calling movie executives! Tilda Swinton! Anyone who loves ART, has MONEY, and wants to do the discerning-film-watching segment of humanity a service! Below, some pitches.
Penguin
Following the success of Joker comes another dark origin story. Bullied by his peers, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot leaves society and follows his love of ornithology to Antarctica, where he is adopted into a penguin colony. Taking on the traditional role of male emperor penguin, Oswald incubates an egg throughout the harsh winter. Embittered by the sub-freezing conditions, starvation, and the anxiety of impending parenthood, Oswald, over the months, transforms into the ruthless super-villain we love to hate. When his chick finally hatches, it’s time for the Penguin to waddle off to wreak havoc on Gotham City. (Narrated by Sir David Attenborough.)
Transformateurs
A fresh, French take on the action-packed Transformers franchise, for a sophisticated audience. We open on a group of aliens who, rather than transforming into cars, manifest instead as states of ennui. Enter their sworn enemies—aliens who exist as states of pessimism. The cerebral battle begins as the Transformateurs smoke cigarettes and engage in a heated discussion about deconstructionism while having a really late dinner (like, later than nine p.m.).
B4 Sunrise
A soft reboot of the popular romantic drama Before Sunrise, except instead of two strangers walking around Vienna for a night, talking and falling in love, it shows two strangers in Vienna taking selfies and not noticing each other, until they are actually on their way back to their homes (in the United States and France), and then they see the other person in the background of their Insta shots! Neither of them is location tagged, so they have no way to search for each other, and all that remains of their non-relationship is a reminder that love is fleeting, nothing is forever, and Amaro really is the most flattering Instagram filter.
Sofija Stefanovic is the host of This Alien Nation, a celebration of immigration at Joe’s Pub in New York, and the author of the memoir Miss Ex-Yugoslavia
