Think to myself, I make big mistake. I tell my little boy No. 2, “I never been good with numbers at school but your ‘Little Mike,’ isn’t he very big man?” Donald say Little Mike is four foot nine inches tall and shorter than the flowerpots at Mar-a-Lago.

I been reading, I know facts. I know M.L.B. No. 2 think he is greatest president in all of history but he is not even tallest and not even fattest. He not as tall as Lincoln or L.B.J. (he so poor he not have last name—just letters). Donald say they both wore risers. I tell him someone called Taft much fatter—340 pounds. M.L.B. No. 2 not even close. Well, close.

Michael Bloomberg welcomes Donald Trump and Melania Knauss to his hospitality suite prior to the 2001 White House Correspondents’ Association dinner.

I also ask him how come nobody suggest Little Mike remove his name from all his computer terminals when everybody make us remove our name from hotels and apartment buildings. I remind him, there no longer even university with name Trump. Is name Bloomberg so much better than Trump? M.L.B. No. 2 say Bloomberg Terminal sound like train station in bad part of Baltimore. I say if Little Mike is like bad locomotive driver, why is there Bloomberg Television, Bloomberg Radio, Bloomberg Government, Bloomberg Philanthropies? He say there no Bloomberg Hotel. I tell him hotel not good business.

I also read up on Little Mike. He can fly plane. He can fly helicopter. He like art. (I like art.) I think I make mistake when I read how rich he is. First, I think magazine say pet milijard. I still count in Slovenian in my head––five billion. That not so bad—M.L.B. No. 2 sometime pretend to have half as much. But magazine say Little Mike worth petdeset milijard—that fifty billion. M.L.B. No. 2 say it all funny money. Then I tell him I read Little Mike like tall women. Donald, he go bright orange.

Read Melania’s previous diary entry here