There are 11 letters in “Thomas Brady.”
There are 11 letters in “Andrew Cuomo.”
After announcing his retirement, Tom Brady is suddenly attempting a comeback, much to the delight of his fans.
After announcing his resignation, Andrew Cuomo is suddenly attempting a comeback, much to the dismay of Democrats.
Tom Brady was caught deflating footballs.
Andrew Cuomo was caught deflating the number of coronavirus deaths in nursing homes.
Tom Brady has never lifted a finger to reform the New York State ethics commission.
Ditto, Andrew Cuomo.
Tom Brady completed thousands of passes to his teammates that ultimately led to many scoring opportunities.
According to sworn testimony, Andrew Cuomo never made a pass at a co-worker that led to a scoring opportunity.
Tom Brady’s father, Tom senior, bursts with pride when discussing his son’s accomplishments.
Andrew Cuomo’s father, Mario, is dead, though we’re pretty sure his head would burst if he knew about his son’s “accomplishments.”
Quarterback Tom Brady typically has five defenders.
It’s damn near impossible to find anyone to defend former governor Andrew Cuomo.
Over his career, Tom Brady was sacked 543 times by opposing teams.
Over his career, Andrew Cuomo was sacked just once, by New York State attorney general Letitia James.
Tom Brady’s go-to guy is the great Rob Gronkowski (tight end, Tampa Bay Buccaneers).
Andrew Cuomo’s go-to guy is the grating Chris Cuomo (formerly of CNN; currently unemployed).
To his many fans, Tom Brady will forever be known as the GOAT.
To his many accusers, Andrew Cuomo will forever be known as a SNAKE.
John Ficarra, former editor of Mad magazine, recently tested positive for immaturity
