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Kristi Noem gets robbed, J. D. Vance kills the Pope (possibly), and Pete Hegseth stumblebums around the Pentagon
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Marjorie Taylor Greene stocks up, Lauren Sánchez spaces out, and Pete Hegseth leans very far right
Hallucinating Graydon Carter
Following the publication of When the Going Was Good, A.I.-generated rip-offs have flooded the market—how do they stack up?
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Emmanuel Macron sprinkles cologne, Mark Zuckerberg scatters millions, and Elon Musk slings mud
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Marine Le Pen is found guilty, Elon Musk is found wanting, and Pete Hegseth’s wife is found everywhere
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The Vances intimidate Greenland, Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez intimate Venice, and Pete Hegseth and Mike Waltz exculpate themselves
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Chuck Schumer gets crowd-shy, Donald Trump whispers sweet nothings, and Liz Truss breaks hearts
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Sam Bankman-Fried is begging, Elon Musk is wrecking, and the Markles are heckling
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R.F.K. Jr. embraces the measles, Marco Rubio gets the needle, and Donald Trump causes more upheaval
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Steve Bannon joins the Nazi-salute brigade, Elon Musk sparks even more outrage, and Donald Trump gives up on truth, justice, and the American way
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Elon Musk wants your financial information, Eric Adams suffers yet more humiliation, and Donald Trump spins lies without hesitation
Eternal Flame
READ
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Elon Musk is selling the farm, J. D. Vance is twisting arms, and for Kanye West, the Third Reich’s the charm
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Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn’t like your accent, Donald Trump doesn’t like your color, and Russell Brand doesn’t like your sexual-abuse allegations
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Elon Musk is raising heil, DeepSeek is causing angst, and Donald Trump is bringing back the Sturm und Drang
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Donald Trump goes low, Elon Musk goes Sieg heil!, and Mark Zuckerberg goes so macho
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Elon Musk is in a frenzy, Steve Bannon is green with envy, and Mark Zuckerberg seeks “masculine energy”
A Short, Sordid History of Prince Andrew
From pedophile pals to a teddy-bear obsession, Randy Andy’s life story—condensed into one sentence
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Elon Musk is sticking his oar in, George Santos is enduring, and Matt Gaetz is concerned about his contouring
The Attention Whore of the Year Awards
Elon? Tucker? Joe? Whom did you choose as the biggest braggart and blowhard of 2024?
The Departure Lounge
From Oscar winners and auteurs to sex therapists and littérateurs, the year’s departed—condensed into one sentence
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Bezos and Zuck are sucking up, Prince Andrew is letting Britain down, and it’s all Greek to Kimberly Guilfoyle
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Bashar al-Assad flees, Juan Soto increases his fees, and the Trump nominees continue to displease
The Attention-Whore Index
The Trump nominees pile up, Elon Musk gets down, and Matt Gaetz circles the drain