Donald Trump’s desperate Jeffrey Epstein–related contortions made him an easy winner in last week’s A.W.I., his 48.8 percent putting him far in front of a tough field. Kristi Noem, a standout underperformer in an administration oversupplied with them, was second (13.3 percent), and lightning-rod-of-the-moment Pam Bondi third (11.6 percent). Props as well to fourth-place finisher Ted Cruz (9.6 percent), who—by simply pulling on some shorts and going sightseeing on the other side of the world days after more than 100 people died in floods back in the state he represents—served notice that he can always be counted on to do the tone-deaf thing.
Another week has gone by. The attention-needy keep stepping forward. Let’s see who they are this time, but first:
