Trump in Exile
Where on earth can a defeated, disgraced president go when his White House stint is finished?
Locked Out. But Perhaps LinkedIn
Imagining how Ivanka, Eric, and Stephen Miller market themselves, post–White House
If Trump Had Been Our World War II President
Down the rabbit hole of a retro-history nightmare
Prince Andrew’s Vanity on Full Display
He’s got a new Range Rover and a personalized license plate. (No, it’s not WANKR)
The Idiot Box Meets Its Match
Trump has threatened to start a TV network if he loses the election. So what would that look like?
Anarchists in the Kitchen?
What if The Great British Bake Off were an Antifa sleeper cell?
Sex and the Ambitious Girl
Imagining what goes on in the mind of rich-husband collector Barbara Amiel
The Idiot Box
Keeping Up with the Sussexes—a first look at Meghan and Harry’s Netflix reality-show script
Lindsey Graham Serves a Stiff One
What if he loses his Senate seat and opens a slightly dowdy gay bar called Feathers?
Flunkies
What if Trump’s pardoned miscreants all had to teach grade school?
2020 Alibi
A coronavirus whodunit
Her Royal Deepness
Can you tell the real Meghan Markle–isms from the fake? Test your Sussex Squad cred with this quiz!
What if … Cher Were Postmaster General?
She’s been trying to volunteer at her Malibu post office. What might happen if she got the top job?
No-Brain Teaser
A few questions that should have been on the cognitive test Trump boasts he “aced”
The (Kanye) West Wing
Imagining his first 100 days
Tracking an Apocalypse
How The New York Times will cover the zombie invasion
Hiding the Truth About Antifa from Your Uncle
He has nothing to fear but fear of a mostly over-exaggerated leftist militant concept itself
The White House Bunker Diaries
Reports on a week of protests, straight from the unmasked source*
Dog Days Come Early
Those interminable summer days have arrived well in advance of the season itself: 24 hours in the life of, well, everyone
Interview with a Virus
In which he thanks his main man, the super-spreader in chief, Donnie Darkness
The Titanic Daily Task-Force Briefing
“Look, this is just, like, a really big ice cube, O.K.?”
In Search of Lost Food
Keeping track of the days may be a thing of the past, but when it comes to mapping out our next meal, it’s always go time
