Prince Andrew seems to have a new metallic green, $150,000 Range Rover that I thought I’d mention to give us all a boost. See, it’s not all doom and gloom out there, guys. Good things still happen to good people. However, I was surprised to read that on said vehicle (petrol-electric hybrid, massage seats, no word on a walnut dash, but we can probably assume) he still has his personalized number plate.

I presume it’s the same one he’s had for years that ends DOY, which stands for Duke of York and not, as some upstarts joked after his car-crash interview with Emily Maitlis “Dickhead of Year”. Where’s the respect, eh? But I do have to ask, respectfully — DOY, are you mad?

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