Hold the Mayo
There is no such thing as a safe lunch
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
This week in American health: coronavirus-vaccine bans, C.D.C. firings, measles’ return, and the No. 1 cause of child deaths (now, officially, firearms)
The Bureau of Unbelievable Statistics
Who better to be Trump’s data czar than the disgraced former congressman George Santos?
Celestial Crisis Management
Seeking to distance himself from Trump, God is desperate for help—even from you-know-who
Elonophobia
That’s it. I’ve had it
How I Eat My Steak
What does your tenderloin say about you?
Parade’s End
Trump’s birthday wish list has a lot more on it than just a Soviet-style military procession
Health Scare
Popular theories on why R.F.K. Jr. fired the entire C.D.C. vaccine advisory panel
Daddy Issues
When it comes to claiming responsibility for his son Eric, Trump points his short fingers at Biden
The Price of Laughter
As Trump’s tariffs set in, Americans are getting hit right in the funny bone
Department of Insanity
Move over, DOGE—Group Receiving Inducements For Trump (GRIFT), the president’s newest government agency, is draining the swamp, one luxury jet at a time
Hallucinating Graydon Carter
Following the publication of When the Going Was Good, A.I.-generated rip-offs have flooded the market—how do they stack up?
When Bezos Met Bridezilla
An exclusive look inside Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez’s Venice wedding—zero-gravity Botox, diamanté candelabras, Dom Pérignon, and all
Elon, Elon, Elon
The hazards of talking politics over dinner
King Charles’s Trump Card
“Sorry, chap, you’ve got to take one for the team”: the monarch announced that he is downgrading Trump’s state visit to a Pizza Express lunch with Prince Andrew
By George!
Elon Musk is beginning to resemble another unelected foreigner who messed with American taxpayers’ money—and incited the Revolution
Musketeens
The owner of X has his own cadre of bureaucracy busters
Hot Takes
A handy digest of recent media coverage concerning the L.A. wildfires
One Don to Rule Them All
Shocking new documents from Mar-a-Lago reveal Trump’s secret plans to conquer Legoland and Middle-earth
The Diary of Elon Musk
An exclusive look into the ever disruptive, U.K.-obsessed, Nazi-curious mindset of the Leader of the Free-Speech World
A New Direction for Sesame Street?
As the classic children’s television program seeks a new home, a streaming-era makeover could be coming
