“The press briefings have picked up since they added the laugh track.”
Small Talk
“Sure, you remember me. I’m the guy who collapsed here last night … right in front of you … and had to be rushed to the hospital.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?”
Small Talk
“Bad luck, Sir!”
Small Talk
The miracle of Jesus walking on eggshells.
Small Talk
“Ice-age deniers.”
Small Talk
“Watch your tone with me, young man, or you’ll be playing board games tonight.”
Small Talk
“Yeah, well, it hurts when you stab me with your words.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“You kids think tea-tree oil grows on trees?? Tea trees?? Well, you’re wrong!! It’s extracted from the leaves of trees in the family Myrtaceae, bred in the plantations of New South Wales!!!”
Small Talk
“Think again. Is this perhaps how it really happened?”
Small Talk
“Let’s play hide-and-I-read-my-book.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I love working from home. I can make my own hours, and the ankle monitor is actually pretty comfortable.”
Small Talk
“It’s just one monkey at one typewriter, but we’ve given him an infinite need for validation.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I know I’m being nostalgic … it’s just not the skyline of my youth.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Oh, he’s just lucky, and a robot.”
Small Talk
“The moment we met, I knew he was the man I’d settle for.”