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Latest Issue • Sep 14, 2024
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Small Talk
“It was awful—we got stuck sitting next to our kids the whole flight.”
Small Talk
“I’m just saying—I think we’d be better off borrowing the money.”
Small Talk
“O.K., O.K. … I’d lay with Peter, betroth Paul, and smite Luke.”
Small Talk
“Instead of digging a hole to China, I’ve hired the Chinese to dig a hole to us.”
Small Talk
“I don’t know—the EPA was here when I left last night.”
Small Talk
“Boy, that extra 1.5° Celsius makes a big difference up here.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Yeah, no, it’s vast. I just thought it would be vaster.”
Small Talk
“I draw the line at flip-flop shares.”
Small Talk
“A large skim latte, double shot, no ‘Have an awesome day.’”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“My people have 17 words for traffic.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I keep thinking it’s Sunday.”
Small Talk
Text: Ted Heller. Illustration: Joe McKendry
Small Talk
“Here on the Cape, Mitchell favors ethnic garb.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I don’t care about water—just get me the hell away from Burning Man.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I post one thing about how de-clawing isn’t that bad, and now the whole world hates me.”
Small Talk
“Can I say something obnoxious and inflammatory under the pretense of playing devil’s advocate for a moment?”
Small Talk
“Uber’s my main gig. Federal-government employment is my side hustle.”
Small Talk
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