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Small Talk
“Sometimes I feel like all we have left is our top-flight education, our generational wealth, and our secure place in the business-world boys’-club network.”
Small Talk
“Let me guess—you stayed late at your buddy’s place helping him with a, quoth, poem.”
Small Talk
“Today’s special is a blue-foot turkey leg cured in pine-needle juice, served with willow-bark home fries and wild honey mushrooms in a burnt corn sauce.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Table three needs ketchup.”
Small Talk
“Of course I still love you. It’s just that after all these years your pheromones stimulate my desire to read.”
Small Talk
“I assure you, Chuck is completely stable—no need to question his sanity. Nope, perfectly fine. Better than fine—great! Chuck’s doing great. Now onto the quarterly report.”
Small Talk
“Stand back, give him air.”
Small Talk
“I went to a school in Boston.”
Small Talk
“The next downtown local train has entered a rift in the space-time continuum, and will arrive in 3027.”
Small Talk
“I’m invisible to all men.”
Small Talk
“The press briefings have picked up since they added the laugh track.”
Small Talk
“Sure, you remember me. I’m the guy who collapsed here last night … right in front of you … and had to be rushed to the hospital.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?”
Small Talk
“Bad luck, Sir!”
Small Talk
The miracle of Jesus walking on eggshells.
Small Talk
“Ice-age deniers.”
Small Talk
“Watch your tone with me, young man, or you’ll be playing board games tonight.”
Small Talk
“Yeah, well, it hurts when you stab me with your words.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“You kids think tea-tree oil grows on trees?? Tea trees?? Well, you’re wrong!! It’s extracted from the leaves of trees in the family Myrtaceae, bred in the plantations of New South Wales!!!”