“‘So what if it’s small,’ the Realtor says, ‘it’s not like you’ll be stuck in there.’”
Small Talk
“Amateurs.”
Small Talk
“I have a confession—a few weeks back I wished I wouldn’t have to go into work or go to another social event for months.”
Small Talk
“I’m afraid the news isn’t good. Word has it that consumers are starting to find out what actually matters.”
Small Talk
“That one is for the Pharaoh, and that one is for his cat.”
Small Talk
“How’s this? ‘Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes or parallel universes yet to be discovered, and even in the event of time travel or other space-time-continuum-disrupting technology, all rights to all things from the dawn of time until forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.’”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“It’s my emotional-support beard.”
Small Talk
“ … and it was at this point that I realized we made the same mistake before.”
Small Talk
“Of course I’m worried. He never washes his hands.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“We really need to do something about the lawn.”
Small Talk
“When I ask you what you’re thinking about and you say ‘Nothing,’ is that ‘nothing’ as in the Infinite Void, the emptiness of Zen, the nothingness of Sartre and Lacan, ex nihilo nihil fit, or what?”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“On the gentleman’s left!”
Small Talk
“I think that should cover this week’s news cycle.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Retail-shopping re-enactors.”
Small Talk
“After state and federal, you get just one wish, and it’s for half-off chicken wings.”
Small Talk
“Want to join our fantasy-income league?”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“O.K., let’s maybe take a break from the scary nonfiction stories.”