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Small Talk
“Your mistake was being so hospitable to humans.”
Small Talk
“I should be home at the regular time … unless the charges stick.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I grew up in St. Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever since, but, sure, I guess technically I’m ‘from’ the Black Lagoon.”
Small Talk
“Ice-age deniers.”
Small Talk
“You keep saying apocalyptic, but I think you mean post-apocalyptic.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Introspe-e-ec-shun!”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good.”
Small Talk
“We can’t cure it, but with enough social pressure, we can get it canceled.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I draw the line at flip-flop shares.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?”
Small Talk
“If you’ve eaten the grasshopper, then you’ve completely missed the point of my story.”
Small Talk
“He looks just like you.”
Small Talk
“I’d be no kind of Christian if I left a disabled guy and his sleepy friend out in the rain—hop in!”
Small Talk
“I swear to sell my book, my whole book, and nothing but my book.”
Small Talk
“No land women want me, so I’m off to try my hand in the sea.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“If the cops stop us, we’re going to look pretty silly carrying a giant cannoli around the city this time of night.”