“If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back.”
Small Talk
“I hate it when they pander to the TikTok vote.”
Small Talk
“My client is willing to settle. Do you still have the leg?”
Small Talk
“Disgraceful! A message in a bottle—in a plastic bottle, if you please!”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“First we were like, ‘Noooo,’ then we were like, ‘Yayyy,’ now we’re like, ‘Noooo,’ again.”
Small Talk
“I just realized I’m talking to myself.”
Small Talk
“Aye, captain—reverse course! I say reverse course!”
Small Talk
“Water … water … but not too much.”
Small Talk
“Now, son, there are no monsters in the closet. But there are some skeletons you’ll come to know about. Hopefully, after I’m long dead.”
Small Talk
“As Your Evilness can see, it’s nigh impossible to keep the clean clothes from falling on the floor.”
Small Talk
“Here you go, buddy. State law.”
Small Talk
“I suggest you say your final ‘I told you so.’”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“You couldn’t ask for a more honest friend.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Do you want to order in or wither and die?”
Small Talk
“I prefer ‘prostitute.’ ‘Media whore’ implies that I’m not getting paid.”
Small Talk
“Thank you for calling your father. If this is an emergency, press 1. If you need money, press 2. To speak about general life updates, please stay on the line: your mother will be with you shortly.”
Small Talk
“My compliments on the soup.”
Small Talk
“Recycling?! No way. They’ll never take my freedom.”
Small Talk
“In a bipartisan surprise, the U.S. Congress has changed ‘United States of America’ to just ‘States of America.’”
Small Talk
“Wait, how long have you had that?”
Small Talk
“How do you know this stuff isn’t stolen from a raccoon?”
