Skip to Content
“For God’s sake, will you relax?”
“You know how it is. Some days you like to drive; some days you like to be driven.”
“If I give you a look, introduce yourself. I can’t remember their names.”
“I can still remember when cartoons were about humor, not product placement.”
“Apropos of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?”
“Don’t even get me started with this guy. He demanded craft services supply two tons of wool every day!”
“I mean, do we even have white privilege if we can’t skip diversity training?”
“You couldn’t ask for a more honest friend.”
“Do you want to order in or wither and die?”
“I prefer ‘prostitute.’ ‘Media whore’ implies that I’m not getting paid.”
“I don’t care how good he is. Ain’t nobody can get a shirt on Jeffrey.”
“This place was a lot more fun before the dress code.”
“That’s your 15th balloon, Derek. Have you thought of something funny to say with the high voice yet?”
“I have bad news about the replacement heart, but good news if you’re feeling peckish.”
“Just an FYI before we go up to the meeting: Filkens, the one who ran all the Zooms, her head is way smaller than you’re expecting.”
“I found a vicious sidekick. Can I pleeeease keep him?”
“I am an unstoppable force of nature, I am not defined by my past, and I make a chermoula paste that will blow your friggin’ mind!”