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“Jake, please hold my calls and fetch my Cheetos gloves.”
“The more I read about these cats, the less I care for them.”
“Then it’s settled—our strategy is to hope for better things.”
“Well, the crazy bastards went ahead and did it … they wrapped it in bacon.”
“Nope, Jeb’s my pardner. My partner is Zeke.”
“For God’s sake, will you relax?”
“You know how it is. Some days you like to drive; some days you like to be driven.”
“If I give you a look, introduce yourself. I can’t remember their names.”
“I can still remember when cartoons were about humor, not product placement.”
“Apropos of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?”
“Don’t even get me started with this guy. He demanded craft services supply two tons of wool every day!”
“I mean, do we even have white privilege if we can’t skip diversity training?”
“I don’t care how good he is. Ain’t nobody can get a shirt on Jeffrey.”
“This place was a lot more fun before the dress code.”
“That’s your 15th balloon, Derek. Have you thought of something funny to say with the high voice yet?”
“I have bad news about the replacement heart, but good news if you’re feeling peckish.”