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“You know how it is. Now every time I get a little cough, I think it’s the black plague.”
“Oh criminy, now we have to make an effort.”
“For some reason, people drink a lot less since I brought my twin brother into the business.”
“Use your words, Jefferson! Not a roundhouse to the face!”
“So, tin cans and just general garbage and stuff. Do we want any appetizers?”
“Mom, Dad—college changed me.”
“I was really hoping we wouldn’t have to get insurance involved.”
“Their entire planet is coated in things called doodads, tchotchkes, trinkets, knickknacks, bric-a-brac, and clutter.”
“And this is where we began labeling our products ‘plant-based.’”
“Unfortunately, our pilot said insensitive things on a podcast 10 years ago.”
” … and then Iceberg goes, ‘You know, a lot of people really like just a lettuce-and-tomato sandwich!’ I literally spit out my drink!”
“Then she made me dance and posted it on TikTok.”