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“It’s all there. And because of the pressure to conform to social norms, I’ve included a 20 percent tip.”
“Tell us again about the time you were turned into a coach and drove a princess to a ball!”
“They keep talking about farm-to-table but I have yet to see an invitation.”
“See what happens when you leave party hats lying around the yard?”
“It’s just that I’m more of a ‘Fade, weep, disengage’ kind of person.”
“I liked him before his tweets got all political.”
“This next one is a little tune about drinkin’, druggin’, and pickleballin’.”
The 1/4K No-Spill Challenge.
“Mom—Declan’s using swear words incorrectly.”
“Alright, I’m out of here—it’s poker night.”
“Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old … with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio.”
“How did you manage to fail history?”
“I’m sorry, but ‘just plain old coffee’ no longer exists.”