“I prefer ‘prostitute.’ ‘Media whore’ implies that I’m not getting paid.”
Small Talk
“Thank you for calling your father. If this is an emergency, press 1. If you need money, press 2. To speak about general life updates, please stay on the line: your mother will be with you shortly.”
Small Talk
“My compliments on the soup.”
Small Talk
“Recycling?! No way. They’ll never take my freedom.”
Small Talk
“In a bipartisan surprise, the U.S. Congress has changed ‘United States of America’ to just ‘States of America.’”
Small Talk
“Wait, how long have you had that?”
Small Talk
“How do you know this stuff isn’t stolen from a raccoon?”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Jake, please hold my calls and fetch my Cheetos gloves.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“The more I read about these cats, the less I care for them.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Then it’s settled—our strategy is to hope for better things.”
Risko’s Sketchbook
Small Talk
“Well, the crazy bastards went ahead and did it … they wrapped it in bacon.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Nope, Jeb’s my pardner. My partner is Zeke.”
Small Talk
“For God’s sake, will you relax?”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“You know how it is. Some days you like to drive; some days you like to be driven.”
