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“Don’t look down your carrot at them. Driveway snow is still snow.”
“Great. See you in spring.”
“There’s an immediacy to yelling you just don’t get from social media.”
“Now, Luke, nobody takes a good wanted-poster photo.”
“I was a best-seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster!”
“Well, well, well … if it isn’t Farfalle the show-off.”
“It’s not you, it’s me. Well, me and Cthulhu.”
“If they don’t like the food, try to explain to them how hard it is to cook really good food.”
“Go ahead, I can listen and text.”
“Getting coal in my stocking is part of my winter energy plan.”
“I’m the genie of plumbing. You still get three wishes, but they have to stay within the parameters of plumbing.”
“Climb into my dream sack, or ye shall meet the wrath of Gloomgore. I am Gloomgore. Yee hee. Yee hee.”
“Let’s get our stories straight. Was it a really strong twister or a gang of clothes rustlers?”