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Latest Issue • Sep 21, 2024
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Small Talk
“What is it about a T-shirt cannon that says ‘foreplay’ to you?”
Small Talk
“Goodness, this interview sure consists of an unusual number of hypothetical questions about how to hide a corpse.”
Small Talk
“We find the defendant guilty of gaslighting, lovebombing, and first-degree breadcrumbing.”
Small Talk
“I sympathize. It’s weird for me, too.”
Small Talk
“Hello, ma’am! Have you ever looked at other shark owners and thought, ‘Why not me?’ … ”
Small Talk
“And do you, Brian, pledge to listen attentively and offer no analysis or solutions of any kind, unless explicitly asked to do so?”
Risko’s Sketchbook
“The Ballad of Daisy Mae”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Well, team, we’ve been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“It’s O.K.! Shark attacks like this are incredibly rare.”
Small Talk
“Promise me that you’ll donate my body to banana bread.”
Small Talk
“Plagues are old-school—we’re going to hit you with sanctions.”
Small Talk
“Please arrive 15 minutes before your appointment time, which is one-and-a-half hours before the doctor will actually see you.”
Small Talk
“All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine … from a tub.”
Small Talk
“I’m gonna stand up to the government the only way I know how … screaming at a 16-year-old earning minimum wage!”
Small Talk
“Today’s my last day. They’re replacing me with a TV that’s stuck on a 24-hour news channel.”
Small Talk
“I don’t need you to slay the dragon. I need you to listen to the dragon.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“All we can do now is hope it sees something shiny on Staten Island.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“He failed at hunting, and gathering was beneath him.”
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