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First contact did not go well.
“Just answer the question.”
“The madman who wrote this dedicated himself to the dark arts, despite knowing perfectly well that all the real money is in Y.A.”
“What you’ve been coughing up—is it more of a ‘Misty Green’ or an ‘Heirloom Sage’?”
“I get it’s funny that my name is Cliff, but when you say ‘ironic,’ you actually want to use ‘coincidental.’”
“In the spirit of bipartisanship, the two sides have agreed to have a war.”
“Oh, this is just a QR code to my Etsy shop.”
“It’s settled—we’ll eat the slowest and the weakest.”
“Remember what we learned in wine country, dear.”
“You never said your parents were coming.”
“I want to hear that cry of distress like you mean it!”
“On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom.”
“The exclamation points make the whole thing seem desperate and contrived.”