The Attention-Whore Index

The final tally for last week’s Attention-Whore Index was as much about the future as the past. Matt Gaetz (40.8 percent) won it for the first time, readers having rewarded his attempt to shut down the United States government (a bit of grandstanding that rests, in his case, on a foundation of all-around odiousness). And with his pivot to taking down part of that government—the Kevin McCarthy part—Gaetz has positioned himself shrewdly for this week’s A.W.I. Second place went to Bob Menendez (32.8 percent) on the strength of a spectacularly vivid indictment that catapulted the senator into strange new territory. Or new-ish: he’s (yawn) been indicted for bribery, conspiracy, and fraud before. We’ll look to him—and his wife, Nadine, who, according to recent reports, killed a man in a car crash in 2018—for additional strong A.W.I. outings once the trial starts. As for Marjorie Taylor Greene, while she turned in yet another solid performance (16.4 percent), one has to wonder: Will she ever win this thing?

The nominees in this week’s edition of the Attention-Whore Index Poll are …

1.

ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR.

Ever modest, he blabbed about the “sea change in American politics” he’s created, presumably by running for president as an independent. In Kennedy Jr.’s own humble words, Americans “have begun to find new hope in my candidacy.” An announcement, evidently, is imminent.

2.

GWYNETH PALTROW

Here’s one person who might, or might not, be paying attention to that announcement. Amid her reflections on the Goop Years, she told a New York Times reporter that it was “very interesting to hear [Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s] point of view,” adding, “He’s said some things that I think are tricky, let’s put it that way.” A representative for Paltrow later called the writer, concerned “that her political views would be a focus” of the article (problematic for the “independent thinker”). Not to worry—it wasn’t the focus of the feature. Just of this Attention-Whore Index entry.

3.

HAMISH OGSTON

A Sunday Times investigation has found evidence that Ogston, an enthusiastic British philanthropist, C.B.E., and multi-millionaire ($150 million, made from selling credit-card insurance), has for 15 years “engaged in the exploitation of vulnerable southeast Asian sex workers. Documents suggest Ogston has trafficked or attempted to traffic Thai and Filipina sex workers, and hosted women who entered the country as tourists only to stay at his property and engage in sex work.” Ogston begs to differ: “[He] said that he did not recognize [the Sunday Times] account and denies entirely that his conduct amounts to the systematic exploitation of vulnerable women.”

4.

MATT GAETZ

The defending A.W.I. champion essentially consorted with Democrats to remove the semi-vertebrate Kevin McCarthy as House Speaker (punishment for McCarthy having consorted with Democrats last weekend to pass a short-term spending deal that averted a government shutdown). During the revolt, there were reports that some House Republicans might try to expel Gaetz, who is still under investigation by the House Ethics Committee (allegations of sexual misconduct and misuse of funds).

5.

MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE

Not so fast! “[A] Republican-led effort to expel Matt Gaetz absolutely will not be tolerated by Republicans across the country,” Greene posted on X. “I can guarantee you that.”

6.

BRIAN GLENN

Meanwhile, Greene’s boyfriend, the conservative talking head Glenn, said at a campaign rally in Iowa, “I believe that Conservative and Republican people are better-looking people. They’re happy. They’re joyous. They exercise. They get outside. They enjoy the outdoors. They’re proud of themselves. They embrace their inner beauty and outer beauty.” And: “Liberal women tend to be some of the ugliest women I’ve ever seen.... [They] take no pride in their dress, their attire, their makeup, their haircut.... In all fairness, seriously, it’s because they’re unhappy. That’s what’s making them so ugly.”

7.

DONALD TRUMP

Having a daily tantrum in the dock, during one of of seven trials he might be facing in the next 13 months, he might as well be his own law firm—let’s call it Cornered, Pouting & Aggrieved. This particular trial, in Manhattan, is for fraud. Attorney General Letitia James is seeking $250 million in damages, plus a ban on Trump and his two older sons running businesses in New York, as well as a five-year commercial-real-estate ban against the Trump Organization. These possible consequences probably had no relation whatsoever to reports from anonymous sources at “Page Six” last week that Melania Trump has “quietly renegotiated” the “terms of her marital agreement.” (Good move: her husband just fell off the Forbes Four Hundred list of the wealthiest Americans.) Oh, and Trump also reportedly shared classified U.S. nuclear-submarine information with an Australian billionaire cardboard manufacturer at Mar-a-Lago.

And now for this week’s Diary …

The French—the French!—are asking the British for sex advice. The head of Le Planning Familial said the popular British TV series Sex Education, which concerns the lives of teenagers in a fictional town, has been “a source of information and inspiration in terms of questions young people were asking their service,” according to the BBC. So the French family-planning agency is promoting a free helpline—“La Hotline” Sex Education—with Netflix, which airs the series, “as part of its ‘fight for access to sex education for all.’”

The Japanese men’s-J-pop talent agency Johnny & Associates is putting a little … distance … between itself and itself, while it handles sex-abuse-compensation requests from 325 victims of the late founder, Johnny Kitagawa. Renamed Smile-Up, the company will “oversee the provision of redress to the victims,” Japan Today reported. And, according to the agency’s president, “provide compensation beyond what is legally required.” But the rebranded Smile-Up won’t be around long: once victim compensation finishes, the firm will shut down.

For some time, certain books, including the Harry Potter series, in shops across Budapest have been wrapped in plastic to discourage young readers from opening them, according to The Times of London. More recently, “people under the age of 18 can only stay in the youth section of the store.” The campaign is a result of Hungary’s anti-L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ laws (which have been in effect for several years), prohibiting books involving gender and sexuality from being marketed or shown to children. Now, debate about how to impose the rules, branded a “propaganda law” by advocacy groups, is causing, according to one bookshop-chain director, “incomprehension and resentment” among customers.

Jet-setters (or is it pet-setters?) can now fly privately between Farnborough Airport, southwest of London, and Dubai, in a Gulfstream IV-SP jet “with their dogs on their laps,” said The Guardian. Cost: around $8,500, one-way. Birmingham-based K-9 Jets already operates flights to Los Angeles, Frankfurt, Paris, Lisbon, and Teterboro, New Jersey, and “celebrated the launch of this service on Instagram with a picture of a passenger sitting at a walnut table with a glass of champagne, her face wearing a delighted smile as she is nuzzled by her golden retriever.” An environmental group has called the service “ludicrous.”

Quality of life for pets is improving here as well. A new law in Spain, where some 300,000 animals are deserted each year, “affects all animals—domestic or wild—under human care,” Euronews reported. Among the changes: “The use of spikes, electric shock collars or tying animals to moving motor vehicles is now prohibited.” Circuses with animals are also banned, and pet stores can no longer sell cats, dogs, or ferrets—these “can now only be acquired under the age of four months directly from their birth breeding nucleus or through adoption from registered animal protection entities.” Bullfighting, however, is still allowed. ¡Olé!

The Seychelles Magistrates Court has accused eight people, including Patrick Herminie, the opposition leader who plans to run for president in 2025, of witchcraft. “The accused were summoned to court” and charged with “being in possession of anything intended to be used for the purpose of witchcraft, conspiracy to exercise witchcraft, counseling, and procuring another person in exercising witchcraft and soliciting any person to advise on any matter for any purpose whatsoever by witchcraft,” the Seychelles News Agency reported. Herminie characterized the arrest as politically motivated—i.e., a literal witch hunt. —George Kalogerakis

George Kalogerakis, one of the original editor-writers at Spy, later worked for Vanity Fair, New York, and The New York Times, where he was deputy op-ed editor. A co-author of Spy: The Funny Years and co-editor of Disunion: A History of the Civil War, he is a Writer at Large at AIR MAIL