“We had to reschedule his surgery, it was interfering with our holiday party.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Apologies to the family of the deceased for that mix-up in the requiem music, which was meant to be ‘Stairway to Heaven’ and not ‘Highway to Hell.’”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I like sitting here because no one asks about my life goals.”
Small Talk
“No, Jim, you don’t point to the lady you mugged.”
Small Talk
“I thought a fun runner might be humanity making the same mistakes over and over, but each time they’re like, ‘Whoa, we’re not doing that again!’”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Today’s news comes to you in our station’s new typeface, Tragic Sans.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“We leave enough for the business to survive—we’re gangsters, not private-equity monsters.”
Small Talk
“This one’s just right!”
Small Talk
“For the last time, I’m not mad—this is just my face.”
Small Talk
“Who’s the new guy?”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“I sure wish they hadn’t cut funding for paddles.”
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Did I miss anything?”
Small Talk
“Save me a spot.”
Small Talk
“Now that you’re semi-nude under garish lighting with a total stranger in an environment synonymous with illness and death, let’s take your blood pressure to see if it’s normal.”