“It’s a great manuscript, but our mandate has shifted from championing new writers to enslaving planet Earth.”
Small Talk
“Well, it was a tough decision, Doug, but we’ve decided to go with Doug.”
Small Talk
“This book says I should eat your arm first.”
Small Talk
“He’s an American shepherd.”
Small Talk
“Just a heads-up, if we ever become super-wealthy and you want to use the money to take a rocket into outer space instead of, like, feeding poor people, I’m going to be really mad.”
Small Talk
“It’s like I’ve been cyberbullying for so long that I forget how to do it in person.”
Small Talk
“I forget who, but he’s somebody’s kid.”
Small Talk
“If we just hold our nerve, poorly lit homes filled with clutter will become ‘a thing.’”
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
Small Talk
“Bow before Oldroot: lord of the wood, wisest of trees, global lifestyle brand … ”
Small Talk
“This primitive communication device is all that’s left of what was once a thriving civilization.”
Small Talk
“Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one.”
Small Talk
“I’m sorry, but the correct answer is not ‘I’m sorry if you feel offended.’”
Small Talk
“Wow—he can walk on hot coals without even posting that he’s walking on hot coals.”