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“I feel kind of bad for 2021. We’re putting an awful lot of pressure on it.”
“I’m going to need your room cleaned by end of day.”
“Today on The Godcast, what if I told you ‘commandments’ were more like ‘suggestments’?”
“We used to be a nation of laws.”
“I want a divorce, dinner’s ready, and I’m shrinking. Let me know if any of that piques your interest.”
“That ends what experiment?”
“One leg at a time, Mr. Vance.”
“As soon as you’re underwater you can take the mask off.”
“I always wait till Labor Day to check if he’s still alive.”
“Nobody’s in the mood, Greg.”
“I guess I expected, I don’t know, classier?”
“Well then, can we count on your vote if you get a job that pays enough to get your car repaired so you can drive to your polling station?”
“Tonight we dine with the Devil. But tomorrow we really have to finish what’s left in the fridge.”
“Per your father’s wishes, the reading of the will shall be preceded by a tight five-minute comedy set inspired by my dating life—or lack thereof!”
“This is Miami—we’ll let the rising sea level do the rest.”
