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“Let’s address the sexy elephant in the room and see if he wants to party.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself like this if they just gave us robes with pockets!”
“Hey, so sorry to do this—do you think we could push to pistols at two?”
“I got tired of wearing a hat.”
“With proper editing, I’ve had a good life.”
“No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair.”
“He loved self-referential humor.”
“Hi, handsome, how about an appletini?”
“You’re breaking up with me? During crumbs?”
“When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, ‘What’s in it for me?’”
“When life gives you lemons, shoot them.”
“Wing tips—this is a white-collar gang.”
“Depending on how the next election plays out, we either get married at the botanical gardens or flee the country.”
