Throughout my life, I have introduced many people who have become close friends. I’ve connected new friends to old friends, work friends to childhood friends, family friends to college friends, and so on. I am, for the most part, totally happy for my friends to become friends. I’m chill! Everybody knows that about me. There have been other times, however, where I have been less than pleased (i.e., regretful of every day that has passed since introducing them). Watching your friends ride happily off into the sunset together can be triggering, but the way in which they go about riding off determines whether or not the trigger is fully pulled, and whether they’re aiming the gun at your leg with a tourniquet nearby, or directly into your face.
In order to arrive at the former (leg, tourniquet), there is a simple etiquette one should follow when becoming friends with a friend’s friend. To me, this etiquette seems obvious and intuitive, but, according to sociologist Pierre Bourdieu, manners operate at the subconscious level. Maybe that’s why I could never stop my elbows from resting on the table, no matter how many times I was told. I still don’t understand. Where else am I supposed to put my elbows?
