Unsurprisingly, out-of-work Tucker Carlson had his special Attention-Whore moment last week, handily winning the poll with 38.7 percent of your votes. Ron DeSantis parlayed his impersonation of a Mickey Mouse–hating, globe-trotting foreign dignitary into a second-place finish (22 percent), with Marjorie Taylor Greene just behind him (19.6 percent.) Trailing the leaders: Elon Musk, Donald Trump, the cast of MILF Manor, Max Scherzer, and Kim Jong Un.
Which brings us to the run-up to the coronation. This has been ongoing for seven months—if you ask Charles, for seven decades—but certainly it attained fever pitch this week. In fact, today’s the big day, isn’t it?! We’d better get ready and hustle on over. (Business casual, right?)
