Grooming Issues

As if we don’t all have enough to deal with right now, here come the beards. It’s not just that the grid view for certain Zoom meetings is starting to resemble a collection of Smith Bros. cough-drop tins. The evidence is right there in the mirror—especially, according to some disturbing online images, if that mirror belongs to Jim Carrey, Kevin Hart, or Harry Styles. When did I last shave? (And what day is it now, anyway?)

The beards really shouldn’t be a surprise. We currently have no intimate social obligations with the wider world, but we do have plenty of time on our hands (time that could be spent shaving, but never mind). And Hirsute & Disheveled is, undeniably, a persuasive hunter-gatherer look for 2020—what, after all, says more eloquently and thrillingly that you’ve just spent several hours trying (and failing) to get through to Fresh Direct?