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October 12 2019
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“The tab was all that remained in this world that kept us civilized and with a sense of shame.”

Call it #thefollowingtabisoverparty. Instagram announced this week that they’re killing the “Following” tab. Before I even had a chance to process the pain, the tab was … gone. Just like that. Another social-media feature that the next generation will never experience. They’ll have to suffer their own horrific moments, though. We’re all Facebook’s guinea pigs now.

If you are lucky enough to have never heard of the Following tab, here’s what it was: a feature that gave you the power to see what everyone you followed was up to online⁠—who they were following, what they were liking, commenting on, etc. The Following tab let you see into the id of a friend. It was like sneaking a peek at their grocery cart. (Five boxes of Mallomars? Wow, someone’s eating their depression.) For those of you who never went on it, congratulations on having enough brains not to waste your life scrolling through an endless page of people doing nothing, all the while doing nothing yourself.

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