As we all know, the Internet long ago devolved into little more than a crude disagreement machine. Nothing gets the world going like arbitrarily taking sides in an argument based on painfully incomplete information. We have seen this dynamic play out with everything from the recent Lindsay Clancy and Cornell cases to the color of a dress and the moral duty of photographing named men during food-delivery shifts.
But now it seems that the form has finally been perfected. An ideal dispute has landed in our laps. Nobody can say with any real certainty who is right or wrong, but based on gut feeling alone, the Internet has already drawn lines. To wit: Are you Team Kelly Clarkson, or are you Team Whimsical Artisanal Brooklyn Curiosity Shop?