Facts are facts: the last person not named Donald Trump to win this competition was Lauren Sánchez, back in May. Yet no one can dispute that Trump, in contrast with almost everything else in his life, has come by his A.W.I. success honestly. For instance, by busying himself with “order[ing] two Nuclear Submarines to be positioned in the appropriate regions” vis-à-vis Russia, killing the unfortunate bad-news-bearing messenger from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, calling Charlamagne Tha God a “racist sleazebag,” etc., he just won again, with 46 percent of your vote. It was Trump’s 60th career A.W.I. victory.

The other top finishers last week are worth noting because they include a pair of newcomers sandwiching a too-long-absent mainstay: Alan Dershowitz—who concluded that having his formidable legal mind unfairly deprived of nourishing pierogi was actionable (16.6 percent)—and the reliably ubiquitous Sydney Sweeney (12.7 percent) flank the reliably appalling Prince Andrew (15 percent).