It is easy to believe, in the 21st century, that all online discourse is simply big Nazis screaming at people who are slightly lesser Nazis while all the liberals hide in a cupboard, chiding each other for using the wrong pronouns for Lassie.

But this belief would be wrong. Because there is an enduring, globally critical debate raging on both sides of the Atlantic about something far more important that Nazis — or Lassie, as hard as that might be to believe. Is Brooklyn Beckham, the firstborn son of Posh and Becks, being held hostage by his American billionaire heiress wife, Nicola Peltz? And will Posh and Becks eventually have to fly to America and free their son in order to reunite him with their other children: Malvolio Beckham, Vegas Beckham and The Girl Beckham?